Off The Record #2

When Fast Dreams Meet Slow Realities (Part One)

Abraham Lincoln, known for his eloquence and wisdom, once said: “The desire to own a fast racehorse is like the desire to eat a hasty meal; it must be fed”. It is true, indeed, that the majority of active thoroughbred owners are prepared to persevere as long as it takes, often having to feed an endless line of slow horses for their dream of getting just one racer with the powerful pace needed to smash records.

The fast thoroughbreds get the praise, the headlines and, by implication, the big cash. The slow ones softly disappear from the racing scene and often become the butt of jokes. There are horse lovers who retain a soft spot for their mediocre performers. Some track rejects are placed with suitable new owners and go on to happy new careers in eventing or showjumping.

According to certain sources on Google, the slowest horse in recorded history was ‘Buddy’, a chestnut gelding who raced in the early 1920s in England. He was sired by Galtee More, one of the champion stallions of the time, and trained by the renowned Tom Lawlor. Despite his impressive lineage, Buddy was known for his laid-back attitude and lack of speed on the track. It was joked that he was so slow that he once stopped in mid-race to take a nap. “I've seen garden snails with a more aggressive racing strategy,” Lawlor reportedly said.

Buddy's last race at Windsor Great Park in 1924 was particularly disastrous. He finished last, and the race officials actually had to stop the clock because Buddy was so far behind! The poor guy even earned himself a place in the Guinness Book of World Records as the slowest racehorse in history.

In South Africa, like elsewhere, all trainers have had experiences with slow thoroughbreds and their amusing recollections are easy to come by. We’ve got two of the most interesting true stories in this week’s Off The Record, with a few more next week.

Retired horseman Cliffie Otto told of a very expensive purchase that joined his stable in the early 1990s. His name is long forgotten, but he was a stunning bay by champion stallion Foveros, owned by big hitters Jaap van der Vendel and Joe Stravino.

“We had high expectations for this one,” Otto recalled. “He was a beautiful looking specimen by the best stallion from a top mare. They paid R400,000 for him at one of the auction sales. That was a massive amount of money at the time. But from the first day we tried him on the training tracks we could see he was going nowhere. He had absolutely no ability whatsoever. I gelded him, gave him work on sand and on grass and we put a pair of blinkers on one day to see if that would work. But he seemed to run even slower.

“There was a story going round at time that the horse broke loose from his handler one morning and that my Cocker Spaniel ran after it and proved to be the faster of the pair. But that was really just a pub joke. Closer to the truth is that I could personally run faster than this horse, with my gum boots on!

“Jaap and Joe eventually gave the slow steed away to a riding school. He retired without running in a race. They didn’t want the public to see their names in the race card next to the slowest, most expensive racehorse that ever came through the stable!”

Former trainer, Scott Kenny, remembered another expensive racetrack failure, although this horse redeemed himself through one of his daughters. Named Mr Eats (IRE), he was imported as a three-year-old colt from the United Kingdom, where he was Group-placed several times, including a fourth place in the 1986 G1 Racing Post Trophy to the highly regarded Reference Point.

Kenny said: “Mr Eats, by Nishapour, was brought to South Africa at a cost of well over a (then staggering) R1-million for my patron Henry Devine. His aim was to win major local races with the colt, with a view to a good future career at his Golden Oaks Stud. His ability was in his form, there for all to see and Mr. Devine wanted to start him off in Durban.

“There was an early setback. When Mr Eats came out of quarantine in Johannesburg, he had to endure a long and tiring trip to Durban. He was dehydrated, got sick and had to be put on a drip. He was stabled by Herman Brown (sr), who gave him ample time to recover but reported after a while that Mr Eats wasn’t showing much in work. He raced twice in Durban without showing any kind of enthusiasm and finished downfield, so Mr. Devine decided to relocate him to my stable at Newmarket.

“We were both excited, thinking that his poor runs came as a result of his not enjoying coastal conditions or suffering the effects of his post-quarantine trip. However, when put through his paces, Mr Eats showed us nothing, and his work riders weren’t exactly impressed. We were thinking that perhaps he was a horse that reserved his best for an actual race.

“When Mr Eats was physically as fit and well as we could get him, I entered him for a 1400m race at Turffontein, hoping for the best, but halfway through we knew our fate. He never got into the hunt, trailed in many lengths behind the winner. There is a raw, sinking feeling that goes with the realisation that your boom horse is going to be an expensive failure – more so, of course, for the individual that invested the money. Discouraged, Mr Devine and I walked to the unsaddling enclosure where we found Mr Eats limping. He was lame on his off-fore leg and in discomfort.

“While that would have explained his bad run, we had the leg X-rayed and, to our surprise, the X-rays showed that Mr Eats had a plate and screws inserted in his off-fore joint. This was something which was no revealed to Mr Devine by the seller’s agent and had, by hook or by crook, not been visible on the outside of his leg. There were no bumps or scars.

“Considering some potential value at stud, Mr. Devine retired Mr Eats to stud, where he understandably received little support. But the story has a good ending. Mr Eats proudly redeemed himself by siring the seven-time winning filly Rainbow Cake, who made him a grandsire of some repute. In 1996 Rainbow Cake foaled down with National Colour (National Assembly), the great international sprinter, Equus Champion and later Broodmare of the Year in Australia. Her progeny sold for millions.”

National Colour’s sons included Rafeef and Mustaaqeem (both by Redoute’s Choice), and both scoring at G1 level for owner Sheikh Hamdan Bin Rashid Al Maktoum. They are both at stud, Rafeef already among the top sires in South Africa and a potential future champion.”

Next week: Geoff Woodruff remembers his slowest horse, Mike de Kock tells of one expensive, outright failure. Kevin Shea recalls his strategy to tell owners about their slow horses.